The Yard Sale Aficionado

Golden_junk-other My grandmother is a yard sale pro.

Sure, sure, you might think one of your relatives is a yard sale expert, but trust me when I tell you that your grandparent/aunt/long-known family friend has nothing on my grandmother.

When I was little, my grandmother would give me and each of my sisters $1.00 on Saturday mornings, and we would head out to garage/yard sales. We could spend that dollar however we wanted, but it was the only money we were getting for the day. You might think you had fallen in love with a stuffed unicorn at the first sale, but if it took your whole dollar, you could easily spend the rest of the day full of regret. 

"I like this red teddy bear, but it's a whole fifty cents."

"If you like it, you should probably get it. I heard that we're only hitting up two more sales after this."

Thanks to one great aunt who owned an antiques stall (often full of garage sale finds whose owners didn't know their worth), I can also spot reproductions, silver plate and long-past-their-prime collectibles from an impressive distance.

My grandmother didn't just visit yard sales. She also held three of her own when she was downsizing her home. After attending a class at the community center, she learned that all yard sale signs should be neon (better visibility), to hold sales after the third of the month (that's when most people cash their social security checks) and that dragging a large, nice piece of furniture to the curb is necessary to attract the "drive-bys." (This piece of furniture does not actually have to be for sale, but it lures in the iffy shoppers and a simple "sold" sign keeps you from having to talk about it.)

From the time my sisters and I were ten, seven and five respectively, we could add our own items to the sale if we wanted. Of course, we were also responsible for pricing and bargaining when it came to our personal things. (Don't ever ask my sister about the bike she sold for $12. She's still bitter someone talked her down from $20. To her credit, when you think that the woman was taking eight dollars from a seven-year-old, I can see her point on that one.)

And when we weren't peddling our own items, my sisters' and my primary job at each sale was to help my grandmother and another great aunt watch the perimeter for anyone with sticky fingers.

It was a thrilling time in all of our lives.

So, for those of you who might be planning your own garage/yard sales in the near future, I'd thought I'd offer you a few tips from my years of experience:

1. Everyone loves a good tabloid. It doesn't matter how old the rag is, I watched my grandmother sell each and every one of her National Enquirers within the first half hour of every yard sale.

2. The most common move for stealing from any garage/yard sale is to put on a hat or sweater like you're just trying it on and then waltz off with the item. Watch out for the ones who "just want to test it out."

3. Mark everything with a plug or run by batteries "as is." It'll save you a lot of grief down the line.

4. Get lots of change in advance. Most people bring a $20 but spend about fifty cents.

5. One man's trash really is another man's treasure. Unfortunately, this also means you'll never know what you can sell and what you can't. At a friend's garage sale, I assumed my Queen Anne chair would be a popular item. It ended up being donated to charity at the end of the afternoon, but I made a dollar on the plastic gazelle figurine someone used to decorate my place setting at a safari-themed party.

Wow -- all that, and you don't even have to enroll in a night class at the community center. Feel free to thank me when you're rolling in soiled one dollar bills and the occasional fiver.

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