Bad Jokes*

While I appreciate a good joke as much as the next person, I've never been much of an actual joke-teller. Most of my humor is anecdotal, in case no one noticed, and when it comes to jokes, I tend to forget the punch lines, so the whole enterprise becomes pretty anti-climactic pretty quickly.

I've also never really been into potty humor -- and my mother will back me up on the fact that even as a child, farts and burps did not make me giggle; I just seemed uncomfortable and ready to move on. Physical comedy irks me, too. I don't laugh when people trip or get hit in the face with hams. For both of these reasons, I've never enjoyed a Ben Stiller movie.

I could pretend that my sense of humor is sophisticated, but that would be a lie. You have no idea how much I enjoyed the movie Corky Romano. Chris Kattan dressed as a girl scout? Too much!

Basically, this is all a really long intro into what are, despite these general biases, my two favorite clean jokes:

Joke #1 (which I'm pretty sure came from a Laffy Taffy wrapper): What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

Nothing. It just let out a little wine.

Grape? Wine? Seriously, there are tears in my eyes.

Joke #2 (courtesy of a former teacher): What is the last thing to go through a fly's head when it hits the windshield?

Its butt.

After that, I think we can all agree I will never again get to pretend that my sense of humor is anywhere close to sophisticated -- or even adolescent. Hannah Montana fans can probably do better.

*My career path is not one of them. Or so I'm told.