Friday Night Fever
A few weeks ago, I went down to Mobile for the Osiris Mardi Gras ball.(Osiris is the only all-inclusive Mardi Gras ball in Mobil, if you getmy drift. In 2008, there were two kings rather than the standard kingand queen.) I had a great time, and despite my normal aversion toparades, I found that my love for free stuff far outweighs my disdainof floats and crowds. Once I had collected a few dozen moon pies, somenecklaces and a plastic rose, I deemed the Mardi Gras parade a success.
Anyways, on my way down, I had to stop for gas.
Now,I am not a stopper. When I'm on a long car trip, my pit stops areminimal. My poor sister still complains that when we drove home for theholidays from D.C. she was allowed two stops — one in Roanoke and onein Knoxville. (Those are the cities 1/3 and 2/3 of the way home foranyone wondering about the logic.) A common conversation went somethinglike this:
Rachael: Laurel, I think I need to go to the bathroom.
Me: Ooh ... Hmmm ... Do you think you could hold it for awhile?
Rachael: How long is awhile?
Me: Two hours ... two and a half hours tops ...
With the rideto Mobile being about four hours, I figured that I could have one stop,max. I would have to get gas, food and a bathroom break all in oneplace. And, since I knew I wouldn't have much time between arriving inMobile and going to the ball, I also had to pick up anything I mighthave forgotten there. (I usually have to find an exit with a CrackerBarrel for the books on tape and a BP gas station for my gas card, sothis particular combination wasn't even really all that taxing.)
Ipulled over in Clanton for the Whataburger and the BP station with theconvenience store. There, I bought batteries for my digital camera,minis of white zinfandel for my pre-ball cocktail and duct tape for myboobs. (I couldn't wear a bra with the dress I had brought.) I stillfelt somewhat shameful about my shopping list three hours later, so Ihad to tell my friend R about it.
Me: Is it sad that I bought batteries, white zin and duct tape in a Clanton convenience store to start this Friday night off?
R: What's sadder is that most Friday nights in Clanton probably start out that way.
From the mouths of gays, I say. From the mouths of gays ...