Foot in Mouth Disease

I have a sense of humor that's not for everyone.

Anyone who has visited this blog before or picked up a copy of Lipstick probably knows this already, but the truth is that I tone myself down in print. If we were at the same cocktail party, I might be overhead talking about what differentiates my starting line Spanx from their second string counterparts or any one of a bevy of other topics that really aren't appropriate for discussion on a Monday morning in one's place of business. (Seriously, every example I just thought of to finish that last sentence cannot be entertained without more forgiving lighting and wine. My cousin and I were once engaged in a trading of jokes and one-liners that led to an argument as to who would be struck down by lightning first. Sadly, we agreed it would be me.)

I accept that many people think It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is a terrible, terrible display of what I wrong with our society. I think it's hilarious. Again, my tastes/self are not for everyone.

Usually, this kind of self-awareness just means that I have to choose friends who are extremely, er, tolerant or keep my mouth shut in public. (And, since keeping my thoughts to myself only worked for about 20 minutes in 1994, if then, I mainly stick with the "picking similar friends" strategy.) For the most part, this means that my humor is appreciated, but being Southern, there's always one fatal flaw to this plan — showers.

As we all know, when you're invited to a wedding or baby shower, you don't just get to see your friend or even your friend group, you're going to be thrown in with people from all walks of your friend's life — be that elementary school, college, summer jobs, relatives or family friends.

This is not an environment in which I shine.

And this was quite clear yesterday when I made a joke about brides and heavy sedation at a friend's shower. There was some staring. And some nervous laughter. I even got an elbow to the ribs from one friend and a "did you really say that out loud to the whole room?" wide-eyed glare.

(It reminded me of the time that my cousins told me I could not say "butt" around their children because it was a bad word. I had been so proud of myself for remembering not to say "a%#.")

So, here's how I exited yesterday's event:
Bride: "Thank you so much for the cocktail plates."
Me: "I'm so sorry I said 'xanax' at your wedding shower."