Think Before You Style

Since yesterday was Sunday, I, of course, spent most of my afternoon watching Lifetime and drinking copious amounts of diet coke. (Ah, how I do love to live it up on the weekend ...) And, since this pretty much encompasses all of the "activity" that occurred for me in the last few days, it's also what I'm going to write about.

Therefore, I apologize in advance to anyone reading this with testosterone or some sense of dignity when it comes to their entertainment choices.

My favorite movie from this action-packed weekend was "Thy Neighbor's Wife," a revenge romp starring the lovely Kari Wuhrer. (By "movie," I actually mean "heavily edited piece of what was soft core porn that hopefully made more sense before losing key chunks of plot and/or dialogue because pivotal scenes also involved gratuitous nudity.")

In "Thy Neighbor's Wife," Kari Wuhrer becomes the live-in help for Nicole and Scott, a couple with a strained marriage, and their daughter, Darla. For reasons that should be clearer, Kari has a beef with the world that she wants to take out on the family. Mom Nicole is a diabetic, so plenty of cooking with sugar and other homicidal acts ensue.

Now, I could address the poorly scripted seduction scenes in the movie or why a family with an 18-year-old needs a nanny, but what most concerned me about this "film" was the depiction of Nicole and Scott's marriage.

It was easy for Kari Wuhrer to work her feminine wiles on Scott (played by Jeff Trachta, pictured) because of the conflict in Nicole and Scott's marriage. Nicole and Scott spend the parts of the movie when they're not getting it on (remember, this was once porn), arguing about how much time she spends at work and how she never pays attention to her husband. I believe there's even some dialogue in which Scott complains that his wife doesn't respect his feelings or his opinions.

And, while I'm sure these issues arise between many couples in the world, no matter how much Scott poured his heart out about his hurt, I couldn't help but side with his wife.

You see, if I was a successful businesswoman bringing home the bacon, I'm pretty sure I would also have trouble listening to the thoughts and concerns of a man with a semi-mullet. (Hell, even if I didn't work and instead spent my days keeping up with my stories and eating cream cheese frosting from a plastic tub with my fingers, I'd have trouble taking that guy seriously.) How can one be expected to respect someone who honestly believes that haircut is a good choice?

There's the length. And the poufy bangs. And the feathering. (Dear God - the feathering.) Plus, "Thy Neighbor's Wife" was made in 2001. It's not even like the actor can use the excuse that he didn't know any better or "that was just the style."

I remember 2001 well Jeff Trachta, and this hair, indeed, was not "the style" then.

And, while I don't want to seem that I'm doing too much to support an image-obsessed American culture, I suppose I believe that what you do with your head matters. I might wear curlers when I leave the house, but in doing so, I must also accept that people will see me as a "loony" rather than a with-it young professional. By the same token, if I want my partner to take me seriously, there can be nothing that makes one think of a mullet, no matter how fleeting that thought may be, happening above the neck.

I'd like to think that if Scott had considered his hair choices more thoroughly before Kari Wuhrer caused his wife to slip into an irreversible diabetic coma, "Thy Neighbor's Wife" just might have had a happier ending.