How Not To Entertain Yourself While Pregnant

Whatever you do while pregnant, don’t:

1. Google anything and everything about your pregnancy and/or newborns.

A personal low? I Googled “can my baby kick too much” because I was convinced I could diagnose ADD/ADHD in the womb.

2. Wander the aisles of Babies R Us or Buy Buy Baby wondering what you’ve gotten yourself into. It's a very costly place to worry, and buying more wash clothes isn't going to do much.

Hint: You’ll be there daily in the first few weeks anyway, so you might want to wait.

3. Try on those tiny bikinis you see the sorority girls picking up thinking you will look OK (or even like a celebrity) because you’re “all belly.”

If you are super tiny, this might work. I don't wear a bikini when I'm not pregnant, so God only knows why I thought this was a good idea. When I put on that Target brand swimsuit one fateful March day, I did not look like a celebrity rocking her baby bump on the beach, and it still frightens me to remember how my ass looked in so little Spandex.