Travel Needs

The one thing I desperately needed in San Francisco? A topographical map. Sure, San Francisco is known for its hills, but none of that seemed to occur to me as I looked at our grid-like map each morning to plot our trek through the city. 

My failure to account for San Fran's landscape wasn't too much of a problem for the walk to Fisherman's Wharf or Chinatown, but it was far more than I bargained for when I decided the Significant Other [SO] and I should have no problem getting from Union Square to Grace Cathedral/Nob Hill.

I may be prone to exaggeration, but I really don't think there is any hyperbole in saying that this involved a near-vertical ascent. Between gasps, the conversation went something like this:

"How far are we going again?" SO said.

"Top," I said. "To the top."

"That top?" he asked, pointing.

"California Street. Keep moving towards California Street."

"Uh-huh."

Minutes passed.

"Can your heart explode at 30?" I asked.

"Do you think you're having a heart attack?"

"I want to know if your heart can literally explode? Like Pow?"

"I think you're fine, Honey," he said.

"What about your lungs? Can they collapse from exertion?"

"I don't think so, Babe. Do you need a break?"

"No, if we stop now, I don't think I'll start moving again."

More minutes pass.

"How much farther?" I said.

"California Street," he said. "Remember? We're so close."

"I need a break. Let's take a break."

"But, you said ..."

"Break."

"There's a rail over there," he said. "We can grab on to that when we get there." (I was a little afraid that if there wasn't something to hold on to, I'd just start rolling backwards, and then where would be we?)

"Ahhh." It was a glorious, glorious rail. But when I looked up after making sure that my feet were still attached to the rest of my body, I saw that the SO was still on the move. "You left me?"

"I didn't think you'd actually cling to a rail in the middle of the street," he called back. "I'm going to keep going."

So, despite my best judgment, I had to keep going, too. I couldn't be too far away from the SO -- without him, there'd be no one to call 911 when any one of my internal organs caved under the stress. A minute later, I made it to the top of Nob Hill. Ten minutes after that, I caught my breath, and we went to lunch. 

"And to think we did it without oxygen," the SO said.

"Very funny," I said, "but I wouldn't turn down a sherpa."