The Hermit's Life

I'm not a customer service-oriented person.

Sure, my resume says that I have plenty of customer service experience, and this is true. I've worked in non-profit development, sports hospitality and the service industry. Rarely has anyone complained (and I used to get great tips). I'll do everything I can for you, but I'm not a fawner or a hand-holder. You'll get what you need and you'll get it in a timely manner, but you also have to be pretty content to get just me -- warts and all.

One of the best questions we received at one of the restaurants where I worked was, "How big is the 10-inch pizza?" Some servers will go out of their way to find a comparable item for you to figure out the size. I'll look you in the eye, give a good laugh that we can both share and say, "Ten inches."

When I worked at a French restaurant, if anyone asked about chicken fingers or ranch dressing, I sent them down a street to a sports bar. (Everyone is happier that way, trust me.) And when I was asked, "What is an olive?" I said, "Do you like peppers? Why don't you have that instead." In some instances, there just isn't enough time.

I like efficiency. And I'd say I don't like to waste time, but the truth is I don't mind wasting time so long as I can waste time the way I want to. I'll spend hours on Family Feud, but please don't ask me to sit in a waiting room, recite a menu that you can read or attend a meeting that could have been accomplished over e-mail.  

I've made peace with this part of myself. My fear is that potential employers have not, and the more time I spend working from home, the more I enjoy my semi-hermit life. (Plus, it doesn't help that when I do leave my house, I tend to get in line behind the one woman requesting a price check at Wal-Mart, pick the sandwich artist who huffs when I point out that I asked for turkey, not roast beef, and find the first day pharmacist. Staying home looks pretty good. And, yes, I usually leave the house only for discount shopping, food and drugs.)

Every job I look at lately, I find myself bothered by one caveat -- people. What has become of me? Am I just a surly curmudgeon? Am I getting old before my time? Maybe everyone would pick a good chair, their pets and a laptop as the ideal office environment; I just don't know.

But I would like to make more money, and if that involves people, I guess it's time to suck it up.

Then again, this chair is really comfortable. Maybe I'll revisit the topic next week ...