Avoiding The Hangover

I saw The Hangover a few months ago, and I thought it was hilarious.

However, as I was leaving the theater, I couldn't help but comment that the movie never could have been made with women as the leading characters.

Now, this has nothing to do with sexism or that I think women aren't capable of such large-scale debauchery and stupidity. (Lindsay Lohan, anyone?) Women can easily go wild, drink too much, hire strippers and think that stealing is a great idea. It's the conversation that occurs in the lobby of the hotel when the guys check in that would have destroyed the trip for women.

Check-in Clerk: So, I have you in a two-bedroom suite on the twelfth floor. Is that OK?

Doug: Sounds perfect.

Bradley Cooper: Actually, I was wondering if you had any villas available?

Ed Helms: Phil, we're not even going to be in the room. 

Bradley Cooper then accepts the $4200/night villa on behalf of the guys and has Ed Helms put the room on his credit card. Here's where this would have fallen apart with women:

Woman 1: Why should I put it on my card? What's wrong with your card?

Woman 2: I'll get you back later. It's no big deal.

Woman 1: No big deal? That's what you always said in college. You know I was the only one who ever bought peanut butter. But did I ever get to eat my peanut butter? No, of course not. You always ate all of the peanut butter, and whenever I asked you to buy more, you always said, "It's just peanut butter, I'll get you back next time." But you never did.

Woman 2: Are you really still not over the peanut butter?

Woman 3: It's OK guys. I'll put the room on my card for now.

Woman 2: Oh no, you won't. This is about whether or not one of our supposed best friends trusts me. Do you trust me, Lisa? Do you?

Woman 1: I think that's what you said to me after you fooled around with Tom Jenkins, too. You knew I had a crush on him!

Woman 2: You had a crush on him, but you'd never even talked to him. Was I supposed to avoid all men you had seen and thought you might want to talk to one day?

Woman 1: He was special.

Woman 3: Guys, really. We just want to have a good time this weekend. Can we all relax?

Woman 2: I can't relax knowing I'm traveling with someone who doesn't trust me.

Woman 1: And I don't think I want to take a trip with someone who can't appreciate me ...

And, thus, the trip is ruined, and The Hangover never happens ... for better or worse. You can doubt me, but as a female, I feel like I've got this one right.