My Trip to Publix

"I'd like spicy mustard and lite mayo on the sandwich, please."

"I gotta tell you. That says lite mayo, but it isn't actually lite mayo," the lovely woman behind the deli counter told me. "It's the regular stuff. Do you still want it?"

"Oh, yeah."

"OK, but it won't be lite."

"That's fine. I'll pretend," I said. "I'm very good at lying to myself."

Most surprsingly, unlike most Publix employees I share too much with, the deli woman laughed and said that sounded good to her.